"I want to reblog my cultural legends" | lesshissmorecat's Blog

1979: A kid shown lying on a couch wailing in pain from horrible headaches. His shirt has blood on it which came out of his nose...

Lady on phone "I don't know what to do... He's like this every other night. The pediatrician said the funniest thing... that I should take him to an -allergist-"

(scene change)

Allergist (in his home, speaking Urdu. Subtitles shown): "This woman brought this boy in today. He suffered from horrible migraine headaches and would get spontaneous -nosebleeds-. I did the scratch test on him. Frankly I wanted to simply write down what he -wasn't- allergic to. He's gonna have nasal pollups unless I can treat this"

Wife: "Have you ever considered he was never supposed to be here?"

Allergist: "I think you've been watching that 'Vulcan' with pointy ears too much"

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Posted on 09:10AM on May 25th, 2009
2005 (same boy, now grown up-- praying): "Dal....e. I don't belong here. I hate it here. If you love me at all then GET ME OUTTAHERE!"
Posted on 09:17AM on May 25th, 2009
(Men shown in a technical looking room)

A guy says "Got another one... It's kinda faint... Playing it now"


"Is he one of us?"

"He sleeps with a clock. I'm downloading the rest of his admirationset now..."

"That's place is a really long way from here. It'll be 2009 before we even get there. Think he'll last?"

"The manual says we gotta try. Include him in the list of retrieval attempts"
Posted on 09:24AM on May 25th, 2009
2009... Same guys... one of them says "I can't believe this guy! He puts in a distress call and then -locates himself- in the most heavily defended spot on his planet!"
Posted on 09:30AM on May 25th, 2009
(scene change) The boy (now grown up) is using The Experience Project down by the Potomac River with his cellphone... He says to himself "Getting dark. Time to hit the trail"

Soon he says "-Damn-! I'm -lost-! Da....e if you love me get me outta here :-)"
Posted on 09:36AM on May 25th, 2009
Soon a scene right out of the Unsolved Mysteries episode about the RAF Bentwaters/REN-DEL-sham FORest UFO report start taking place... We're resisting the temptation to make the UFO look like an eyeball :-D

Soon some humanoids approach him.

"Are you _?"

"Whose asking? If you know erika than I don't want to know you"
Posted on 09:41AM on May 25th, 2009
"who the hell's erika? We're here because of this..." (holds up a recording device and presses a button) "IF YOU CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL, THEN GET ME OUTTAHERE!" ...

Then the alien says "We gotta leave. This is very important. Is there anyone else on this planet who is like you?"
Posted on 09:46AM on May 25th, 2009
(thinks for a second and says) "Unless you got another one of those from Sweden, I think the answer is 'no'"
Posted on 09:49AM on May 25th, 2009
"Put this device on you head. Think about where your tangible beloveds are and we will teleport them onto our craft. Hurry. We're on a tight schedule"

(Laughs) "So am I"
Posted on 10:31AM on May 25th, 2009
"The cargohold is almost full of matter. Perhaps you should to stop thinking of objects"

"Oh don't tell me I'm also an alien amongst _you guys_!"
Posted on 10:46AM on May 25th, 2009
(The ship starts taking off) "What's going on here?"

"Our race was destroyed by a catastrophe"

"So was mine :-D"

"We are a race of lover-creators. We manufacture our young. We make them to be loved, just like the planet you just came from. Our world was destoyed. Instantaneously. Our souls were scattered across existance, and ships like the one we'll be docking with were sent to retrieve them. You, my friend, are -no longer 'alone'-"

"This I'll believe when I actually see it :-D
Posted on 12:40PM on May 25th, 2009
Editorial Note: I like the "other version" where the race of aliens who wants to kill my kind -arrives first-, and I dodge the laserblast and the whole side of where I work explodes in a fireball afterhours... -That-, "theatrically speaking", was a Carolco/"Terminator 2" moment! I just hope that beautiful Persian woman who hired me left early that night cause -that- woulda been a -loss-! :-D
Posted on 12:44PM on May 25th, 2009
What I don't miss about that version was wasting one solitary second on the notion that anything important had one damn thing to do with a town called "Liden".
Posted on 10:44PM on May 25th, 2009
"Now this is important. Is there anybody else? These missions are very expensive"

"There's a Lady on The Experience Project. She may be one of us"

"I don't know what this Experience Project of your is, but put this back on your head and think about her. We need to know this"
Posted on 10:48PM on May 25th, 2009
(Hands the device back) "So is she one of us? Are you going to get her?"

"I sent the data to the other ship. That is the command ship. I don't make these decisions"
Posted on 11:34PM on May 25th, 2009
"Is this what it looks like?"

"This is exactly what -they- look like. We are a race of beings who romantically love manufactured things. If this were about anything else, your butt would not be sitting in that chair."

"Well thanks for rescuing me"

"You need to stop thinking of yourself as a refugee and start thinking of yourself as a 'recruit'. We -are- shorthanded, and we -will- train you for missions like the one you just saw"
Posted on 11:40PM on May 25th, 2009
"By the way, my name is _"

"No is not, your name is Ladel. You've been spelling the name wrong. Peased to meet you anyhow though. My name is Preni and this is Brel"
Posted on 11:50PM on May 25th, 2009
(suddenly a beautiful female voice eminates from inside the ship) "Pren. We have a problem"

P: "It's a f.rbnasti ship"

L: "F.rbnastis?"

B: "They're a primitive race that has somehow commendeered advanced technology. The are a greedy, destructive people that syphons energy from constructive races in order to live"

L: "Just another day on planet Earth to me"
Posted on 12:20AM on May 26th, 2009
(Their ship is captured and they are -racked up-. They have these devices placed on their head. Ladel is having -waves- of the emotion of his own people rejecting him being -shot through him-. Preni is crying from his own private hell)
Posted on 12:25AM on May 26th, 2009
One of the enemies barks something and the subtitles show as "Turn up the power!"

A female-portrayed computer replies "I am not able to at the present time".

The enemy barks something and the subtitles say "You are so incompetent, you *****!"
Posted on 12:29AM on May 26th, 2009
B: "Pren! You are stronger than me. You have to get us our of this! Pren! Snap out of it!"

Ladel squeaks out at his attackers "My worth isn't based on others' pain or failures. My worth is based on what I know build or love!"
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